Empty Dialogue

Rethink ya bewb.

March 9, 2010

Quote “Don’t blame your problems on your sunglasses! That’s no different from tripping on the street and blaming the pebble! ” – Gintama

Stop and think for a moment: Who in your life is your friend?

To me, a friend is someone who….

…I can laugh and rant about anything and everything to and will still love me and will laugh/rant along with me!
…accepts me for what I am and I can accept them for what they are.
…I can spill my heart and soul out onto and I will know that they will help mend it and return it back to me when I am back to my senses.
…I can hang out with and not be worried about my physical appearance.
…will abolish the feeling of loneliness by being there for me even when I am “physically” alone. I can be sitting/walking alone or even with a crowd of acquaintances and not feel lonely because…I’m not!
…I ENJOY BEING AROUND.
…I can discuss my interest in yaoi with. TEHEHEHE
…feels the same way back at me!

Now, I know most people either ask too much of a person to be a friend or ask too little (heck, I’ve been through both). To me, this is what a friend IS NOT:

Despite what we see in the media, a friend IS NOT someone who you can call at 4:00AM (unless they are awake with you) when you are BORED or feeling LONELY. Unless you are experiencing an emotional breakdown of some sort or had some nightmare, FRIENDS still need their beauty sleep and a long day to live through, so BE CONSIDERATE and don’t expect them to be there for your EVERY LITTLE NEED. Don’t blur the role between boyfriend/girlfriend and FRIEND.
Someone who will hang out with you/talk to you all the time. Once again, don’t blur the role between boyfriend/girlfriend and FRIEND. Friends have their own lives, relationships (whether they are meaningful or not) with other people just like you do. They have school, work, times when they feel lazy/tired just like you. BE CONSIDERATE and don’t make them undergo guilt trips. (Now..if they are canceling EVERY SINGLE hangout/talktime with you for like months without a really good reason, then I suggest you reconsider the friendship).
Someone who does not treat you as their equal.
Backstabbers, obviously.
People who you don’t find yourself enjoying when with them. If you find yourself forcing yourself to like them, then they are not your friends.

Haha, yeah that is my basic list of what a friend is/is not. It’s just that I constantly see/hear about people stressing over really trivial relationships regarding friendship. Not to sound cliche, but life is a journey of breaking and creating relationships. When a relationship is broken, the first feeling is sadness (naturally). Crying, ranting, etc about a broken relationship is a good sign in a sense. When your emotions get pullled to the negative extreme when a relationship is severed, it shows how important the relationship was to you (and that you are human and have emotions :B).

But once a relationship is severed and your grief is over, you must realize that you have gained some valuable experience from it. Whether it is that you are too nice of a person, you’re too cold of a person, whatever, you’ll realize it after the relationship is over and hopefully use the experience and change into a better person and not make the same mistakes again. And above all if the relationship ended because of a betrayal of the other person, BE HAPPY THAT THEY HAVE FINALLY SHOWN YOU THEIR TRUE FACE. Be happy that they have showed you how insignificant you are in comparison to the other things/people in their life. Be happy that they betrayed you and you are not longer deceived by that fake smile on their face. Be happy that you will no longer waste your feelings/time/etc on an insignificant person. With this in mind, you can move on. (and plus, caring about these people take too much work…hehe)

P.S: It’s Spring Break for me, so hurrah! An update within a week ;D (ew I have 3tests when I go back to school -_-)
P.S.S: Please check out my submission for Tomorrow’s Deception Literature Contest and if you like it, please VOTE FOR MEEEE. Thanks in advance! ;3

WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A FRIEND?

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Filed under: Friends, Girl Talk, Relationships, Thoughts

…EHHHH??

March 2, 2010

Quote “If you embarass yourself, you’ll surely grow stronger!” – Gintama

TIME GOES BY TOO FAST!!! =_=

I get home from school at roughly 5:00PM. I shower, eat dinner, study, do homework, relax…and when I look at the clock again it is SOMEHOW 10:45PM?! =A=;

I make getting 8-10hours of sleep EVERY night the #1 priority (sometimes I cut it to 7hours if I have lots of unfinished work but it’s rare), haha. So what I am getting at is…

…I wanna make pretty wallpapers~layouts~websites *heavy, heavy sigh* But when I look at some amazing wallers at MT, they note that it takes about SIX HOURS everyday for like, a week or two for 1 wallpaper (an impressive one I may add). And that is if you work SIX HOURS EVERYDAY FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK (or two)! And it’s not that they’re lying, it’s truth (from experience). But GOOD LORD! How can you spend SIX FLIPPING HOURS EVERY DAY FOR A WEEK? I can’t even sit in front of a computer for 6hours! =A=; True, I can spread out that time…but goodness, it’ll take me a month to finish something…if I even stay interested! X_X If I spent 6hours, that means that right after I come home from school, I’d have to work on walling and no homework and no life! =..= And I want another 4.0, hahaa…*sigh*

But I don’t wanna give up my studying time, sleeping time nor do I wanna give up my relaxing/no thinking time (when I watch anime and/or read manga XD). BOO! The day is too short! X_X

Gimme some tips on how you manage your time please~! Seee you gaiiz soon ;3

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Filed under: Girl Talk, Life, Rant, Thoughts

This I Believe

February 9, 2010

This I Believe Essay: The Journey of Self-Acceptance

I believe in self-acceptance and that self-acceptance lights the path to happiness and inner peace. When I mean happiness, I do not mean the pleasure you get from opening Christmas gifts, the excitement you get while partying or the feeling of luck you get when winning the lottery. Happiness is accepting and believing in something only you have full control of: your soul. Some people can find self-acceptance on their own. But most people, like myself, need others to guide them on their journey to self-acceptance and happiness.

During my senior year of high school, I was down in the dumps. Not only did my ‘first love’ dump me with no intention of coming back, but my ‘friends’ of high school treated me as if I did not exist. I felt anguish, confusion, humiliation, and alienation. I depended on their praise and company to be proud of myself. In reality, however, all I was doing was deferring my attention from accepting the only thing that can grant me true happiness: me. I would feel great when people would say, “You look really pretty!” or “You are so amazing!” I would smile and say thanks even though I wished I could just disappear. I was ashamed and afraid of myself. The face I wore with a smile was nothing but a suffocating mask. I became addicted to the artificial feelings I received with other people. The feelings I felt with people were not feelings of happiness. They provided a temporary high. But when I stopped receiving them, I crashed. But as I crashed, I was rebuilt again.

In my sorrow and withdrawal, I found my three angels that helped me find happiness within: Amanda, Lucia, and Sally. They did not say things like “I wish I could be like you!” nor did they say “The clothes you wear look really good on you!” They said things that melted away that mask of mine. They told me: “There are also people that will listen to your problems and still accept and love you for who you are. Those—we are your friends, not them. The fact that you regret your mistakes shows that you have a heart. You are a good person.”

They cleared the damp mist of doubt looming over me. That was all I needed.

Thanks to those words, I looked into myself. You do not need the whole world nor a big group of people on your side to feel happy. What you need is a small number of friends that will seal the nothingness you have been feeling all your life so you can fill it on your own. Filling that nothingness is the journey to internal happiness. Self-acceptance is necessary in filling that nothingness and in order to accept yourself, you might need some angels to light the way for you. So after you find your angels and accept their guidance, do not be afraid to be happy…

Aha, that was my This I Believe essay that I had to write for my writing class last semester. I know it isn’t the best essay you have ever read but nonetheless I felt like sharing my belief with the blogosphere anyway. It was a pretty interesting project I had to do and the site has lots of interesting essays so I suggest you go to the website and check it out ;D

What do YOU believe in?

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Filed under: Girl Talk, Life, School, Thoughts